


this is what the wolves taught me

by aletterinthenameofsanity



Series: my tiny ass fandom fest [7]
Category: The Order (TV 2019)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, BAMF Women, Bisexual Female Character, Bisexual Male Character, Multi, Polyamory, Team as Family, and kept writing as it unfurled, because whoop that ending, canon adjacent, hey good thing I started writing halfway through binging
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2019-04-20
Packaged: 2020-01-20 19:15:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18531421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aletterinthenameofsanity/pseuds/aletterinthenameofsanity
Summary: Lilith's mother named her after the first female demon, who was born of the same clay as Adam, equal in stance to the first man to live. She named her after Adam’s first wife, the one who refused to bow to God’s will, the one who defied God and was cast down because of that.And Lilith has never forgotten that. She has never been a girl or a woman who laid back and let others roll over her, never been someone who gives in easily.When Lilith is turned into a werewolf, she remembers this. She enjoys being able to take down evil, to destroy bad magic, to do something good in the world.And, of course, there's her new boyfriends.Hamish and Randall and her- they just work. As a team, as a throuple, as lovers, if you were sentimental to call them that. They’re her boyfriends, she’s their girlfriend, and nobody really knows but that’s fine with them.Lilith would be content to live this way for the rest of her (probably short, due to that whole werewolf thing) life. She has a purpose in the Knights and in her werewolf identity, and she has happiness in her boyfriends.(The one where Lilith, Hamish, and Randall are in a relationship, and it doesn't really change much.)





	this is what the wolves taught me

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from Topaz Winters.
> 
> Also, because ages were never specified in canon save with Jack, Randall and Lilith are both 20 and are Juniors. Same with Alyssa, though she's not important. Hamish is 26.
> 
>  
> 
> Fics in the fandom before this one: 38

_Beware the broken girls._

_They’ve learned how to survive with shards of glass under their skin._

_They’re glittering, sharp and beautiful -_

_And they will watch you bleed._

**- _MIND THE THORNS, DARLING -_[C.K](http://widowbitesandhearingaids.tumblr.com/)**

 

 

Lilith has always had a feeling she would lead to destruction.

Her mother named her after the first female demon, who was born of the same clay as Adam, equal in stance to the first man to live. She named her after Adam’s first wife, the one who refused to bow to God’s will, the one who defied God and was cast down because of that.

And Lilith has never forgotten that. She has never been a girl or a woman who laid back and let others roll over her, never been someone who gives in easily.

When Lilith is turned into a werewolf, she remembers this. She enjoys being able to take down evil, to destroy bad magic, to do something good in the world.

And, of course, there's her new boyfriends. 

Hamish and Randall and her- they just _work_. As a team, as a throuple, as lovers, if you were sentimental to call them that. They’re her boyfriends, she’s their girlfriend, and nobody really knows but that’s fine with them.

She and Randall are the same age and Hamish is six years older, but since he’s not their professor- and he’ll never have a chance to be, as he teaches philosophy and her and Randall are both hardcore students of other disciplines (Randall’s pre-med, her history/poli sci)- that never really becomes a big thing between them.

They’ve all got their issues, she’s got that. She’s blunt and often can’t deal with people at times, Randall’s a bit socially inept and often forgetful about anything not involving human anatomy, and, well, Hamish is an alcoholic who’s just a bit older than them.

But they work well together. They balance each other out, fill the cracks in each other's hearts.

And yeah, they're werewolves, and they spend their afternoons and weekends fighting bad magic. They fight well together. She’s vicious, Hamish is a good leader, and Randall takes care of both of them. 

But there's something soft and kind and peaceful about this life, about this home. There's something inescapably loving about the nights where Lilith can just collapse onto the sofa, working on her essay, one of Hamish's drinks on a coaster on the table next to her, while Hamish grades papers sitting on the armchair while Randall studies.

Most nights they end up sleeping here at Hamish (and now Lilith's) house. The only one of them who doesn't live here is Randall, who's living as an RA to earn some extra money before moving in with them next year.

She's never felt this safe and secure in her life. She's never felt as loved as when Hamish gets up to grab a new drink and drops a kiss onto her cheek and Randall's forehead as he passes, as loved as when Randall snuggles up next to her while they're watching a rom-com (turns out all three of them have a witness for the genre), his head on her shoulder. 

Lilith would be content to live this way for the rest of her (probably short, due to that whole werewolf thing) life. She has a purpose in the Knights and in her werewolf identity, and she has happiness in her boyfriends. 

-

And then Jack Morton shows up, and Lilith has to deal with someone else being drawn into their team, and that’s sometimes hard to deal with, because not only is he a member of the Order, with split loyalties, he’s not theirs. He’s a member of the team, but he’s not tangled in their relationship. He doesn’t sleep in Hamish’s bed upstairs, doesn’t kiss them good morning, doesn’t understand the close bond the other three of them have.

Even as she learns to respect him and his ideas, she can never quite understand him as closely as a member of the Knights as Hamish and Randall. She's never entirely sure if it's because she's not dating him or because he's a member of the Order, but the point still stands. 

-

When Hamish goes missing and calls Randall, saying he got stabbed by an enchanted knife, Lilith knows how dire things are. She knows that if he's found by the Order, they're going to do more than just stab him. They're going to  _slaughter_ him, all while getting the rest of the Knights' names out of him.

The absolute relief she feels when Hamish stumbles in, holding the wound on his stomach- he got out of the hunt. They get the potion on him, and he's safe. Lilith and Randall pull him into a hug, and for a moment the world seems okay. Hamish is alive and not currently dying.

(Jack's info about the book is slim to nothing useful, but it does make the potion that saves Hamish's life, and to be honest, Lilith can't really find herself holding a grudge against him because of that.) 

- 

There's no ethical thinking behind sacrificing Kyle. She doesn't care about Jack and his "avoiding of collateral damage," doesn't care about protecting lives.

Kyle hurt one of the two people Lilith cares about most in the world.

Timber is a loner, but Lilith is not, not when it comes to Hamish and Randall. She cares, probably more than she should.

Knowing that he's dead is most definitely a satisfying ending to this story.

-

Lilith’s gotta admit, she’s fucking terrified of losing Hamish and Randall, almost more than she is of dying herself. When Randall goes missing after making friends with that chick at the bar (and that's another reason why she loves Randall- he's noble to the core), cold fire runs down her spine.

When she finds out what they made Randall do, how they turned him into the monster he never wanted to be, she’s scared for him. She knows how much he wanted to be 

She's even more scared when he attacks them in their home, nearly wolfing out in the process, and it takes Hamish holding him down and Alyssa digging the sigil out of his neck to bring him back to normal. 

For a moment, she and Hamish and Randall stay on the ground, her and Hamish holding Randall for far longer than they ever do after he falls asleep during a beer pong competition. Having to explain what happened to him, what he did, takes a lot of effort, especially when having to look at his horrified expression, but eventually he gets up and nods, pulling them into an actual game of beer pong that she actually lets him win- he deserves the victory, today.

(Sometimes she kind of hates just how weak she is for these boys, just how much she cares about them and how far she's willing to go for them. Timber's loner tendencies sometimes work, but sometimes they gnaw on her.)

That night, the three of them fall into bed, Hamish and Lilith curled around Randall. He normally likes to sleep on the edge of the bed, but tonight- well, tonight is a different story. Tonight, he pulls them to his sides, wrapping an arm around them, and despite the fact that Hamish likes being the little spoon, tonight he is all too willing to let Randall take comfort between them

-

Finding out that she was a member of the Order fucks over her brain. She used to be one of them. There was a time at which her loyalty wasn’t to her boys and Timber, but to the Order. To magic. To the Grand Magus and everything he stood for.

And, most of all, to Alyssa.

Well, fuck. Before the Knights, before her boys- who she’s very much in love with, when she lets herself admit it- she had a crush on Alyssa Drake, of all people.

And fuck her, she can remember why. She was attracted to the loyalty in Alyssa, the intelligence, the drive to prove herself- everything she can see reflected in Hamish and Randall now, save that bitterness.

Maybe it means something that Lilith, now, is the bitter one. That she has no interest on Alyssa anymore and every interest in Randall and Hamish, her fellow wolves, her fellow knights. 

Her boys- bright and hopeful despite everything that's happened, everything they've gone through. God, does she love them.

-

Jack dies because of that fucking Vade Maecum, and it shows that Lilith actually cares.

Originally, she’d been afraid of the Vade Maecum because of what it could do to Hamish and Randall. She'd been scared of what it might do to her the men she loves, to this relationship, to this family she's come to covet.

But now, she actually cares that Jack's the one dying. She cares about her friend, who's suffering, who she just wants to live and be safe.

 _Please let him come back,_ she thinks, despite the impossibility of the idea as she returns Silverback's hide to basement and then ends up transporting out of there.

-

Lilith was named after the first woman ever created. She was named after the first person never to bow their head, to refuse to give in to authority. 

That fucking Acolyte and the Hermetic Counselor try to interrogate and break her, and it doesn’t work. It won’t work. She refuses to let it work.

Lilith’s always been strong. She was strong enough to quit the Order. She was strong enough to be a werewolf and fight magicians for two years. She’s going to be fucking strong enough to survive this too.

Even when she was in the Order, she was never properly subservient. The only leader she’s ever followed was Hamish, and that’s only because he listens and is willing to change. 

She’s not going to bend. She refuses to bend.

She’s going to survive this. She’s going to make her way back to her boyfriends, save the world, and have a drink.

She's a werewolf, yeah, and that is always going to be the most important part of her identity. But she was also a mage, once, and she remembers how to defeat mages. She tempts the Acolyte to kill her. Then the fucking Acolyte gets the knife close enough to her hand, and Lilith destroys her using the magic that the Order taught her.

And then she makes it out of the Temple, because she just fucking refuses to let them take her.

-

Lilith doesn't think she's ever been happier in her life than the moment when she enters the door to the house- their house- and finds Randall and Hamish standing there. They rush to hug her, and for a moment the slowly increasing pain in her palm means nothing. She's back with the two people she loves most, and the Vade Maecum is still out there, but for now they're all surviving. They're all okay.

She lets the Temple Magus heal her, because her pride- though important- is not more important than surviving to live with her boys. Then the attack starts, and to Lilith's chagrin, she's too weak to fight. Randall stays behind to protect her (and she has never needed protecting before, but right now, she can't be mad. She actually kind of likes the fact that she has two people who care about her as much as she cares about them) while Hamish and the Temple Magus end up going out to fight the advancing members of the Order.

"Turns out, we would do anything for you," Randall says, and Lilith smiles.

"You're idiots, aren't you?" Lilith says, and Randall frowns.

"We're not idiots."

"Yeah, you are," Lilith says as the window crashes and Hamish fights off a member of the Order.

Randall leans in, and presses a quick kiss to her lips. "Yeah, we are," he says with a smile, "But we're your idiots."

Lilith nods. "Got that right." And hopefully, they'll always be hers, until the end of their lives (whenever that ends up being).

-

When the whole thing's over, Lilith ends up at the bar with Hamish and Randall, drinking away to their heart's content. Taking down the Vade Maecum was a pretty big accomplishment, one that needs to be celebrated with a round of drinks.

Jack's out somewhere dealing with Alyssa and his grandfather's death, and she hopes it turns out well for him. Jack's a member of the team and the family now, and she really does care.

Then a couple of hours in, her bladder starts to worry her, as it tends to. "Hey, I gotta hit the restroom," Lilith says, dropping kisses onto each of her boyfriends' cheeks as she stands up from the booth.

"Hurry back," Hamish says, and Randall nods.

"You know we can't have a good time without Killith," he says, twisting Jack's nickname into almost a flirty pet name, and Lilith rolls her eyes.

"You know it," she says, and heads to the rest room.

* * *

Lilith finds herself in front of a house with her memories all befuddled.

She is a girl who was named after a demon, a girl who never breaks, and she's going to figure out why she knows this house, why she remembers that this is home but not how she can afford it or who she shares it with. She's got to have a roommate or two, right, to afford such a place.

There are two men in front of her house- or, at least, she thinks it's hers.

"Do I know you?" she asks harshly, and the blond man- dapperly handsome, though a few years older than her- raises an eyebrow.

"This is my house. I bought it just last year when I got my teaching position."

"I thought this was my house," she and the brunette guy- who somehow gives off a nerd and frat vibe at the same time- say at the same time, and she scowls. 

"I don't remember ever acquiring roommates," the blond one says, a bit snobby, and her hackles rise just a little. She's dealt with plenty of douches in her life, and though he doesn't seem like one, she can remember sleeping in the bed upstairs in this house, right to the left of the steps.

Then her phone rings in her pocket, distracting her for a moment, and she pulls it out to find-

"Wait a moment," the blond says, raising an eyebrow. "Is that us?"

There, as her lock screen, behind a text alert from someone labeled  **JACK** , is a photo of the three of them curled up on the couch, the brunette's head on the blond's lap and the blond's head leaning against her shoulder. The three of them are laughing at something, and there's a glass of some kind of cocktail held in the blond's hand.

(Lilith wonders who took the photo. She _might_ have, as her right side is missing from the screen, but the moment seems almost too candid to be a selfie.)

"Did we all forget something?" The brunette asks, brow furrowing, and Lilith has the strangest urge to do something to smooth it out. She doesn't like to see his face worried, and when she glances at the other man, she doesn't think she likes seeing him concerned either.

"It seems as if we did," the blond says.

"Do you think..." Lilith starts, but she can't bear to bring herself to finish the question. She's never been very good with being emotionally open.

"That we meant something to each other?" The brunette finishes, and she nods.

The blond glances between the house and the two of them, something small shifting in his face. "I believe we did."

"Want to grab a beer?" the brunette asks, and she whips back to look at him. His frown is gone (to her unadmittable relief), replaced by a small, casually confident smile.

"Our memories are missing and you want to grab a beer?" Lilith asks, kind of unbelieving.

The brunette shrugs. "I thought it was a good idea. Public space until we can figure out what's going on with the house."

"Can I at least get your names before heading off to a bar with you?" Lilith asks, even though she knows the answer will be yes.

"Hamish Duke," the blond says, offering out a hand, "Doctor of Philosophy. I work at Belgraves University."

"I go to Belgraves University," the brunette blurts, eyes wide, and a (small) piece of the puzzle falls into place. At least she now knows where they all met, if not how. The brunette takes Hamish's hand and shakes it. "Randall Carpio, pre-med. I'm also an RA." Then his brow regains that damn furrow again as he mutters, "Which is why I'm now wondering why I came straight here after waking up on the front quad of campus."

"I'm Lilith Bathory," Lilith says, "History major with a political studies minor. I  _also_ go to Belgraves University."

"Well, that answers one question," Hamish says, a small, satisfied smile sneaking its way onto his face. "To the bar?"

Lilith takes one glance back at this house that she's sure is hers, but that she's now pretty sure is theirs as well. She wants to find out why that photo is on her phone, who these people are, how they all seem to have lost their memories, what they mean to each other.

"Sure," she says, "Let's get going. I want to find out more about my roommates."

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys liked! While watching the show, my brain immediately team-as-poly shipped them. I really loved the headcanon of the three of them just being in a relationship the whole time (only spoiled by Lilith and Randall "getting together" in the final episode), and I had a lot of fun writing this story. If you liked, please feel free to comment/leave kudos- they're always appreciated!


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